- After being subjected to the end of a marathon of The Parkers, I'm still lost a to why Nikki and the Professor ending up together at the end is supposed to be a happy ending. Doesn't that just reinforce the message that stalking works, it just takes a while is all? But what do I know? That's the same way I felt about Steve Urkel and Laura on Family Matters. That, and that Laura Winslow was one of the most shallow and superficial women on the face of the earth.
- Why is the guy in front of me at the drive-thru window always the one that either needs to make a special order or talk to a manager or whatever it is he needs to do that takes twice as long as every other person in the line?
- How did the movie Batman and Robin manage to go an entire two hours without finding a way to make Uma Thurman look attractive once (and for this example, I'm not counting my mysterious attraction to bookworms)?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Morning Observations
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7 comments:
1. The Professor was gay and in California it never happened thanks to Prop. 8.
2. The guy in front is always a douche.
3. Because Joel Shumacher is gay.
Now how simple was that?
1. Points for originality.
2. Points for commiseration.
3. Points for an abstract but fundamentally correct answer.
Hey, Joel. Here's the playbook for Poison Ivy. Step One: put girl in green unitard. Step Two: lower temperature in studio 10 degrees. It makes its own gravy!
Is it even possible to make Uma Thurman look attractive? She's three-bag homely, IMHO. And unlike Joel Schumacher, I'm resolutely hetero.
But major props for maybe the only post in the blogosphere that brings together Uma Thurman and Urkel. "Uma... Urkel. Urkel... Uma."
IS IT POSSIBLE? My God, see "The Producers"!
Leo Bloom: So what time can you get here?
Ulla: Well, Ulla wake up every morning at five AM. From five to seven, Ulla exercise. From seven to eight Ulla take long shower. From eight to nine Ulla eat big Swedish breakfast. Many different herrings. From nine to eleven, Ulla practice her singing und her dancing. And at eleven, Ulla like to have sex. So, what time should Ulla get here?
Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock:
...Eleven.
So Uma doesn't have the most, ahem... charming of faces. If you'll notice, that's not what I was looking to spotlight.
(and yes, I did fight the urge to somehow say "headlight" there even though it doesn't fit...)
Sam: I've seen The Producers. I've seen Gattaca. I've seen both parts of Kill Bill. Embarrassed as I am to admit it, I've seen My Super Ex-Girlfriend (it was late, I was bored, nothing else was on).
After all that exposure, Ms. Thurman still strikes me as only slightly more attractive than Thurman Thomas, or the late Thurman Munson.
Which is to say, not at all, really.
But I think I see where you and the Houseman are coming from. (Headlights, indeed.) I'm just more of a Sir Mix-A-Lot guy. :)
Well, that's not entirely fair. Thurman Thomas does have dreamy eyes. Er... is what I heard.
I'm much more of a hip/waist man, myself (which may explain my unhealthy obsession with Ms. Marvel). See how I brought it all back around to girl parts again? Fictional girl parts. Yeah, I still got issues...
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