Things I Slept Through on Cable #2

Okay, so I'm cheating on this one because technically I was awake the entire time it was on. But I fell asleep right afterward, and I wanted to talk about this thing the last time it was on.

Despite having seen what must be every episode of West Wing, I still myself inexplicably watching a handful of episodes when they air. So imagine my surprise and/or joy when I came in from work this morning and discovered that one of my favorite episodes of all time was on.

The episode in question is the fairly entertaining (and most likely technically inaccurate) "Shutdown". The episode follows picks up exactly where the last left off. President Bartlett, after being faced with Republican Speaker Haflie's attempt to alter the already agreed upon terms of the federal budget, not only rejects Haflie's terms but refuses to negotiate further. With this meeting taking place mere hours before the deadline to either have a budget or establish a continuing resolution (the legislative equivalent of a rain check), Bartlett's refusal to negotiate leads to an inevitable shutdown of all non-essential government.

I know what you're saying, but it's not nearly as crazy as it sounds. It's unlikely that what happens following the shutdown is in any way indicative of what would actually happen during a government shutdown, but it is interesting to see the downward spiral that takes place. Most of the White House staff gets sent home. Government services in general go to crap. The press coverage of it does damage to both parties almost equally.

One of the main reasons I enjoy the episode, though, is that in a series full of continuity and season long story arcs, the story here is fairly self contained. You could know almost nothing about the series, and you can still get the gist of what's going on with this episode. And for long time fans of the show, there are a lot of character threads being dangled around. Josh is on the outs with the administration, the President is on the outs with his wife and most of his senior staff (who can't quite grasp what he's aiming for by continuing the shutdown), and the President is on the outs with his wife (which, if you've ever seen the series, is exactly as bad as it sounds).

This, of course, sets up an inevitable TV land conclusion wherein everything gets neatly wrapped up and fixed by the end of the hour, but it was still a crazy week for them. And there a good handful of iconic images and moments strewn about. If you can't get behind the Commander in Chief strolling down the street towards Congress, I don't know what to tell you.

A Little SNL for the Weekend

Which I know is odd, since it came on last Saturday. But whatever. Justin Timberlake made yet another classic episode by hosting.

First up, a goofy, but oddly entertaining trip to Ellis Island. If only our great-grandparents truly dared to dream...



Weekend Update had a visit from some of the stars of the Star Trek film. As funny as this is, I know that somewhere, there are still nerds mounting protests. I weep on the inside.



And to close things out, a soon to be classic Digital Short. I think everyone went into the episode wondering if they would revisit the greatest white R&B group of our generation, and Timberlake and Samberg prove once again that no holiday is safe.



And yes, that is Susan Sarandon. I'm still impressed by the sheer star power that Samberg can wrangle in a pinch.

All in all, a good episode. Very hard to pull just a handful of items out, so wander over to the NBC.com homepage for more highlights, or just be on the lookout for a re-air.

Things I Slept Through on Cable

It's time to start a new feature that I like to call Things I Slept Through on Cable. It sounds crazy, I know. But I'm sure that I can't be the only one that has this happen to them. A bizarre combination of falling asleep on the couch, an abnormal sleep cycle, and a television always being on in the background results in a half-asleep, half-awake stupor wherein you aren't entirely sure if you saw what you saw or if you made it all up.

My most notable instance of this phenomenon occurred when I was just a child and fell asleep one early Saturday morning. You know that dream where you're in school, but you're naked? Try having that dream, only instead of being naked, you're Underdog. Yeah, that was a weird one.

And speaking of weird ones, let's move on to the subject of this serotonin induced stupor, a feature by the name of Dead Heat. One of the Encore channels coughed this one up two nights ago, and I can't even remember how I ended up on the channel. Actually, I do. Sick, sick, curiosity.

This film features Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo (I **** you not; he starred in a movie) as a cop duo on the trail of a mad scientist. Said scientist has found a way to reanimate corpses, leaving the police dealing with half-zombie, bullet resistant thugs committing crimes around the city. And if it ended there, it would be a straight up story.

But no! Things get even more odd around midway through the film when Trreat Williams' character, one Roger Mortis (I **** you not; that was actually his name) dies. And while in most buddy cop films, this would be when Piscopo would go on a Rambo/Bronson style rampage of revenge, that's not what happens here. Remember that A-plot I was telling you about before? See, the good guys have stumbled across the tech that's being used to reanimate goons, so what better way to turn the tables than to reanimate Mortis and have an undead cop to even up the odds?

I was only awake for 10 minutes of this film, give or take, so I can't say I really got the full impact of the plot. But if you can imagine my brain trying to fill in the blanks between the handful of images and sounds I did take in:

• Piscopo and Williams fighting what looked like a reject from a Toxic Avenger movie.
• Williams' Roger Mortis biting the proverbial big one during one such encounter (which at the time seemed out of place).
• The entire dialogue concerning reanimation (which I think I heard and reconstructed images of in my head).
• Piscopo noting, "You were under in that hot tub for over five minutes."

Only two things irk me about this film. First, I'm bothered by the fact that from what I've heard, it's not that bad of a film. I had to dig through IMDB just to verify that the film existed at all (and also to find the title so I could see if it would be on again). Sure, it appears corny as heck, but the film is so tongue-in-cheek with its subject matter that you can almost relish in it. Which in a way sucks since, secondly...

I fell completely asleep before it ended! So now I don't know how it ended, and on top of that it turns out it's one of those films that Encore only cycles through sporadically. So it may be on again in a few weeks, and it might never be on again. And it's not like I can just run down to the Blockbuster and pick it up. Nor should I since I think paying would decrease the enjoyment somehow.

But if you get a chance to catch it, give it a shot. It proves that Joe Piscopo sort of had a career, that Treat Williams did some weird stuff before he got around to Everwood, and it supposedly also features the late Vincent Price. So clearly, there has to be some merit to it, and I have to endeavor to see it, if only to see if the parts my subconscious filled in were in any way close to the real thing.

Go See Star Trek (No Spoilers Here...)

Five minutes in, I wasn't convinced. Ten minutes in, I still had my doubts. About 12-13 minutes in, it started to gel a little. Right around the time it got to the infamous "trailer scene", I still wasn't sure, but at least that scene wasn't nearly as bad as it seemed in the trailer.

But somehow, some way, over the course of two hours... the film won me over. And I don't mean this in the "it was all right" way that Wolverine did. No, I actually enjoyed this film a great deal.

People who have never seen a Star Trek show or film or whatever (and seriously, how many people can really fall into that category...?): go see it. It's as self-contained as a film based in Trek lore can be, and it's an entertaining ride.

Long-time Trek fans: go see it. It's different, but it pays enough homage to make you feel warm and fuzzy and tells a pretty interesting story.

"Fans" and other purists primed to gripe and whine: go see it. And turn off that part of your brain that will make you yell, "That would never happen!" or "That makes no sense!" at the screen. Suspend your disbelief and try to focus on the positive. Plus, no one wants to hear you screaming in the theater.

And that's that. Go see Star Trek. Because I saw it first thing today, and now I have to wait for someone else to see it so that I can talk about it. And I want to say things about it. Desperately.

My Current Distraction

Failing on the internet is hardly a new thing. And cute animal videos are certainly not scarce, either. But somehow, you put them both together, and it becomes an internet phenomenon that I can't get enough of. Play him off, keyboard cat!



But I know what you're thinking: will this work for anything? Hecks, yeah! Want to toss a fainting spell on Glenn Beck's show in there? Works like a charm.



Want to go old school? Then toss in an oldy but a goody like this poor kid getting booted (which is funny in retrospect because the kid was perfectly fine afterwards... sheesh...).



And what worse is that there are dozens of these things floating around the net now. And more being made everyday. A meme is born in Interweb City.

"We 'Bout to Get All Lysistrata Up In Here...!"

Here's an odd story. Women in Kenya have decided to launch a protest against the divisiveness of the coalition government. The form of said protest? A sex strike.

I find this intriguing for two reasons. First, the activist groups are so dedicated to this "shutdown" that they're even considering paying sex workers to steer clear of men. Secondly, it actually made me recall Lysistrata, which I hadn't thought of in years. Junior year Drama class may well end up being more beneficial to my world view than History ever will be.

My Spoiler-Free, Incredibly Short Review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Wow. Despite all of the mutant cameos and appearances, the film was actually mostly about Wolverine. Go figure. As a film overall, it totally rocked three years ago (which is when I would have cared about it).

Goooooooool!

With just a scant hour before the official end of the operation and with me seemingly not in any big rush to put any big push of work into the effort, I'm going to officially call it. With an unofficial (but what I'm calling final) count of 108 pages, I hereby claim victory in the month long crusade that was Script Frenzy. A winner is me.


After some initial trepidation over the whole thing, I have to say that it was much easier to settle into the pace of Screnzy, and overall I'd say that the goal of 100 pages was much more workable a goal than the 50,000 words that are NaNoWriMo. Although honestly, I think I have love for both projects. It's probably just that I think it much more likely that some off script that I write will get produced somehow over a novel being published. But life is odd and strange, and the exercise isn't necessarily about making something producable anyway.

Still, I will persist in torturing the wary few that come here by sharing some odd snippets here and there. But given the response I've had from when I've shared before (namely none), that may well be an exercise for the sake of doing it, too.

But enough of that. I dedicate this victory to the late Sam Johnson, who I still think about every time I sit down to write something here. I'm sure he'd enjoy this victory, as well as this victory tune, provided courtesy of Earth, Wind, and Fire:



(And yes, I realize the song has no bearing at all on anything. But I already used Kool and the Gang's Celebration for my NaNo win, and I've had this song stuck in my head for most of the day. Best Elite Beat Agents level... ever.)

The Origins of Friendship

I'm sure that everyone has a story or stories involving Sam Johnson. And much like people's perceptions, every story will be different. I've struggled to try and figure out just what my story would be concerning him, and I'm inevitably drawn back to the first time I met the man a scant six years ago. It was a meeting that left me with one inescapable thought about him:

What a jerk.

But you have to understand the nature of the story to see how it got to that point. At the time, I was a curious, somewhat timid lad of twenty some odd years on one of what would be many an adventure at the Comic Box. It may have even been my first trip there (I honestly can't recall it that deeply). But the dispute was born as many a nerd-based dispute is: through a technical misunderstanding.

See, I saw a Heroclix booster box on a shelf that featured Superman clone gone wrong Bizarro, who was wearing a stone tablet that said "Bizarro #1".I made the idle comment to Sam (who was behind the register) that I thought it was hilarious that he'd wear something like that, to which Sam flatly and almost condescendingly replied, "He's been wearing that for years."

I want to tell you that I'm not so petty a person that when someone puts me in my place for not knowing an item of geek-lore, I'm fine with it. But something about the attitude with which the comment was offered just set me off. Not in the, "It's on now, time to kick some @$$!" kind of way but the, "You're on my s*** list, good luck getting off of it," kind of way. Really, how dare he? How was I supposed to know that? And so what if I didn't? Needless to say, I was miffed.

And as I am want to say during many a story, if it had ended there, that would be that. But no, it wouldn't be much of a remembrance if that's the note I left it on, would it?

No, the story here is what happened after that. See, I want to tell you that Sam and I had some long winded feud that went on for years before finally being resolved, but it never happened. I may have been a little indifferent the next few times I saw him, but the truth is I can't remember it. In all honesty, I can't remember one bad thing that the man said or did after that point. Now I'm not saying he's a saint or anything, but after that specific moment in time, I can't recall him ever getting on my bad side.

If nothing else, it means the man got on my good side again, which he must have done by just being the funny, personable guy he was most of the time. I don't know what might have been wrong with him that first day. Maybe he had gotten up on the wrong side of bed, or he had a headache, or maybe he was just defending his geek territory as we all are wont to do some days. But at any rate, the whole thing became so irrelevant over the course of time that I only actually remembered the first incident after being reminded that Sam used to work at Comic Box. That's how far removed it was from me.

So I guess if there's any lesson to be learned here (and there doesn't have to be, but let's pretend there is one here), it would be that shutting people out based on one or two rough meetings isn't always the best idea. It's a bit cliche, but life really is too short for holding petty grudges and pushing people away based on trifling issues. Give people a second chance, or at the very least let them know what they did to offend you. You may find that they never really meant anything by it, and you might just have a chance to make a friend that you never would have.

More later.

At a Loss for Words...

Considering that most of the people who have seen my page no doubt either came from his page, at some point visited his page, or just knew him personally, there's no doubt in my mind that I don't have to tell most people that visit here about the passing of Sam Johnson. I'll be the first to admit that we weren't horribly close, but through our web adventures I feel like we had established a kinship of sorts.

I'm still trying to find the right set of words to say on the matter (and believe me, I will have many more words about the man), and I almost don't feel like saying much until I do have those words, but I felt like I needed to say something in the meantime. So I'll leave you with these two things regarding the man. First, his encouragement is one of the things that prompted me to get this old page up and running. And secondly, his joy of life and his embracing of his own mortality is one of the things that keeps me working on my writing, both here and in what passes for real life.

So if at any point in time you've garnered any semblance of joy, amusement, entertainment, enlightenment, or just blind distraction from anything you've seen here at the old House Rules! site, you can offer a small measure of thanks to Sam Johnson for it.

Abstract Thought of the Day

"Julie Chen is having my baby! Sorry, Les..."

Short, dangerous thoughts like that? That's the reason I don't use Twitter.

Screnzy: Day 20 Update

Good news all around on the Screnzy front. For starters: my page count is unofficially at 71 pages. That puts me ahead of pace for the first time since Script Frenzy started. Woo!

And for individual project updates: the first draft of the script for episode one of FraK is now complete. Woo! And no, you can't read it. Not now, anyway. It's a bit rougher of a draft than I intended, and there are about four or five things that I have to go in and fix before it makes complete sense, not to mention actually polishing a few minor items on top of that. That, of course, will need to wait until I finish another script. Or at the very least until I reach my page goal for the month.

And yes, I am still working on Hardcore. I plan for the big metal hero to get some solid attention during the last week of of the event (where hopefully, I'll just be padding my victory total).

Screnzy: Day 17 Update

Okay, so I surged ahead to 50 pages, but then I stalled out a little. So I'm still sitting at just around 50 pages, which is a little off pace but I'm fine with it. Normal pace means you write a little over 3 pages a day, and I generally write more than that on a good day. So if need be, I can just push extra hard to finish things off.

The tricky part is working on two projects at once. Most of my page count is from Frak. Sorry, but I just find scripting a show easier than scripting a comic. That, and a comic script requires detail, something I can skimp on a little when doing a TV script (although I know I'll need to get back to it at some point). Someone at the Script Frenzy site suggested that people create a script for a commercial or trailer for their work, and I might do something like that if I get a chance. Now back to work with me.

HouseTV: Who for the Holidays: Part 2

It's like Speed, only slower and with more aliens.

(Note: This review of Doctor Who: Planet of the Dead may contain minor spoilers. I don't think it's anything that would wreck your viewing, but you've been warned.)

Call me crazy, but I've never bothered to double check when the Doctor Who specials were set to come out this year. I just occasionally check to see if there's any buzz about them anywhere on the interwebs. So imagine my surprise when a few scant days ago I realized that Easter was the set date for the appearance of my second favorite self-repairing, time and space bending hero. The first, of course, is mentioned by the Doctor himself in the opening moments of Planet of the Dead.

(Although honestly, I'm terrified just what the first Easter would be like in the Who-verse. But it's best not to think of such things, and just move on.)

So this holiday's adventure gives us David Tenant's Doctor stopping to catch a bus. This self same bus is occupied by the elusive and mysterious Lady Christina de Souza, played by Michelle Ryan. The bus, of course, makes an odd detour, and hilarity ensues.

Well, actually the entire episode plays a bit straight. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I know that I was especially critical of this year's Christmas special, almost to the point of feeling like it was phoned in. But even though the story here is hardly full of twists, it still manages to be entertaining.

The reason is no doubt due to the cast. Tenant is given much more to work with in terms of the scifi, and the Doctor as a character has more opportunity to interact with characters in this adventure. In truth, he seems much more like his old, quirky, unpredictable self (aside from a few heavy moments along the way).

Michelle Ryan's Christina is a refreshing change of pace. If you're like me, you'll play a game of, "Don't I know you from...?" before realizing that Ryan was A) in the BBC show Jekyll and/or B) played the titular character in the US remake of The Bionic Woman. Christina is a bit of a shift from companions past. Rose and Martha could be considered capable assistants. Donna openly challenged the status quo of the universe. Minogue's Astrid and Morrisey's "Doctor" were worthy a tagalong and a bizarrely effective leader respectively. And then there's Jack. Oh, Jack.

Christina certainly best fits with the final member of the list. Like Jack, Christina is a bit of a rogue that appears to be essentially good at heart. And when she seems to have everything a person could possibly need if stranded on a deserted island (or planet) in her backpack, she seems like a perfect companion for the Doctor. In theory, anyway. We all know that there's only so much leeway a companion is allowed to have before the Doctor considers them more trouble than help (just ask Adam).

If there's any fault with Christina, it's that she's forced a little too eagerly into a pairing with the Doctor. This isn't necessarily her fault, I guess. Not having multiple episodes to work with, I'd imagine that there just wasn't time to dance around the issue. And of course, it sets the table for the conclusion, which really ends up being inevitable.

As I said before, the story here is pretty straightforward. Honestly, you can't get more direct than this tale. The plot itself is so direct, in fact, that I'd argue that it's a good example of Plot 101. But there are worse things inthe world than a simple plot, and the fact that I enjoyed it as much as I did is a testament to how much I enjoy everything else about the show and the collective effort it puts forth.

Speaking of those other elements... did we go old school here or what? Looking at the backdrops for the various scenes, you'll realize that there were only a handful to be had. Street, desert, ship interior... that's pretty much it. Okay, there's a few more, but you get the idea. But the series has never been about the big effects or lavish sets, so that's hardly a complaint. What visual effects there are serve to complement to episode, but there's no doubt in my mind that many people will find one in particular a bit corny. Such is life.

As far as actual complaints, I only have a few. First, there was a disturbing lack of TARDIS here. Granted, I understand that this is the type of story that doesn't work if the Doctor has any access at all to his ship, but we don't even get a token fade in/fade out from it. You could have at least blinked the light on top of the call box for us. Something. Anything.

Also, how is there not a UNIT series of some type already in the works? They're proving themselves to be horrifically entertaining in small doses, and if someone would produce some episodes, I'd be all over them. Come on. Let the little red berets have their fun, too. It'd be nice to see what they were up when they're not bowing down at the altar that is the Doctor's feet.

All in all, Planet of the Dead came right when I was about done with wondering when there'd be new Who and gave me exactly what I was looking for. If The Next Doctor was on the good side of mediocre, then I'd have to say that this adventure was on the average end of good. It did everything I expect of the show, and managed to drop in a handful of extras that I enjoyed. Now back to reality, and the return of my inevitable Who withdrawal.

Rating: 7.5/10 (It's good Who, but it can't quite break the awesome barrier.)

"Run That Through Your Clicker... Boom!"

AP is now reporting that long time sportscaster and gaming franchise leader John Madden is retiring. Madden notes that it was time to go and that he wanted to spend more time with his family. Makes sense to me, but let's translate it to Madden speak:

"See, what this means is that he's old, and his anniversary is coming up, and he wanted to spend more time with his family. So he's going to retire so that he can do that."

Yeah. Pretty much filters out there, too.

Of course, EA Sports has yet to announce if this will have any effect on their long running Madden NFL series of games. The only serious negative consequence so far has been the announcement that Cris Collinsworth will replace Madden in the booth for Sunday night games, finally giving all of America a reason to watch The Simpsons.

Oh, yes I did say it. Collinsworth is a hack. I'm not afraid to say it.

"That's Tatiana!"

AP (and no doubt various other sources) has reported that adult star Marilyn Chambers has died at age 56. Now granted, I shouldn't care about this. The majority of her "work" was before my time, I can honestly say that I haven't seen much of it at all, and even the later, less racier stuff occurred mainly during my teen years.

...

And I clearly wouldn't have seen that then, either. And that's the story I'm sticking to.

Still, the woman was heralded as one of the groundbreaking stars of her genre. If anything, she helped make ye ol' pR0n more mainstream, and there can't be too many people that are upset about that.

(And yes, I realize that there is, in fact, only one person I know of that might get the quote I used in the title of this post. But if you happen to, then you realize exactly why I used it.)

Abstract Thought of the Day

Two straight weeks of waking up early Monday morning at the exact time The Mighty Boosh airs on Cartoon Network.

Two straight weeks of inexplicably being drawn to watch The Mighty Boosh.

Two straight weeks of not loving the show, but not finding any reason to hate it, either.

Darn crazy Brits and their weird shows that I barely understand but still find entertaining.

Why the Nerve of Some People...

I'm so pissed right now!

I was on hold, because someone called my cell phone and told me that my factory warranty on my car was about to expire. But this song that was playing while I was on hold was so cool that I was really jamming to it. But then the lady answered the phone. And when I asked to be put back on hold, she had the nerve to act like I was crazy.

And then on top of that, she said I would definitely be called back. And I bet that song won't be playing at all when they call me back...

I mean seriously... can't she understand my need to groove?

I'll explain when they call back. I'm sure the next person will understand...

Scrubs Dance Madness!!

I'm mad at this for two reasons. First of all, even thought I want to be offended, it's funny as all get out. And secondly, I swear I had this bit written up in my head at one point.



And who knew Sarah Chalke could break it down on the regular? She even still does the, "I told you so" dance.



And because three clips are better than two, here's an oldy with a gone but not forgotten legend.

Legends Never Die

I didn't catch many pranks floating around the interwebs this April 1st, but I found this one incredibly entertaining. The only thing is that there's no way to believe that that would be an XBox 360 game.

If they had claimed it was for the Wii, though...