Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Why "It Works on TV" Doesn't Work in Real Life...

or... "Dear Hef, pay attention to this one."

CNN reports that a Chinese businessman had his attempt at Elimi-Date go horribly, horribly wrong. The man, who by the way had five mistresses.... five! Anyway, the man had been so affected by the recession that he had to cut back to just the one mistress. So instead of choosing one mistress, just one, based on the merits of her being and what she meant to him personally, the genius decided to take a different tactic...


He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.

There are 4 things he should not have done here. First, he shouldn't have turned the entire thing into a competition. Secondly, he certainly should not have done so without letting his five... five! mistresses know they were on the chopping block. Third, he should not have ever let someone cut a woman (known only by the name Yu in the aritcle) for being ugly, especially if he does thing four, which is this...

The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.

That's right. After letting the judge drop her for not looking good enough, this guy decides to get into a car with what should be a clearly upset woman and drive around the mountains. What could possibly go wrong?


It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.


Whoops. So not only did he dump her, but he also managed to nearly get himself and all four... four! remaining women killed in the process. The guy ends up paying a chunk of change to the Yu woman's family (as she oddly enough ends up being the only person in the car to die in the crash), and all of his remaining women leave him. That's his mistresses and his wife, who was the only one who didn't know he had other women.

2 comments:

Sam said...

It does too work off of television. It's called pimpin'. And you know it ain't easy.


What I think is funny about the whole thing is this guy thinks he can hold on to six women at the same time. Hell, it's hard enough to get right with the first one. That's why I celebated Single Awareness Day on Saturday. It was so much better, a lot more cheaper and no stress.

HouseT said...

Yeah. I always say that if you have time to take care of two women, then you aren't taking care of the first one right. And this guy had six... six!

But the mistresses were clearly in it for the money and/or lodging, so it's likely he wasn't handling the full order of stress that he would be had he entered that many traditional relationships. I'm just trying to figure out how the wife never got wind of the fact. That had to be taking a huge chunk of his free time...