Words of Impact: The F-Word

(Part of an ongoing essay series involving the impact certain words have on our life. Although really, it's not all that serious...)

Life's a strange thing. We have all of these words that define who and what we are, but when it's said and done, we really can't define certain things.

Take the word "friend" for instance. We toss it around all the time to describe people we know and meet in life. But really, don't we toss it around a little too much? Or at the very least, a little too freely?

How many times have you ever called someone a friend not because you really felt that way about them but because you didn't want to imply that they weren't a friend while they were standing there? Or maybe you were talking to someone abut that person, and you felt like it would be more awkward to say anything other than "my friend' when referring to the person. We've all been there at some point or another.

One of the main problems we have with defining our relationships with others is that we tend to oversimplify the nature of those relationships. When it's all said and done, we only have the three categories of relationships to refer to people normally: strangers, friends, and "more than friends" (using whichever word we feel comfortable with to describe that type of relationship).

Yes, there are acquaintances and associates and coworkers and all those other words you can toss around. But we all know the truth about those, which is they essentially mean nothing. If you aren't at least a friend to someone, you're just a different class of stranger. Not that being unfamiliar with someone is such a huge crime. You can't be pals with everyone.

Really, we shouldn't take it so personally. It's only society's impression that everyone should love everyone that perpetuates the notion that every person in the world should be friends with everyone else (Barney the Dinosaur might have played some small part as well...). There's nothing inherently wrong with someone not being your friend and vice versa, but it does make one ponder the nature of friendship.

Granted, calling someone you aren't that close with a friend isn't a terrible thing, but it does set a bad precedent. Calling any random person you spend more than a few hours with a friend devalues the word for the people you really care about. Not to mention the fact that it subconsciously sets you up with the notion that the person is more important or trustworthy than they may be.

I've seen tons of cases where people claim that someone they've known for a few years from school or wherever are their best friends. This is generally followed by some event wherein the person then feels utterly betrayed or deceived by said best friend. This inevitably leads to someone shouting the phrase, "You're supposed to be my best friend!" or somesuch, when the truth is that the offended party really doesn't know the person well enough to be shocked by their behavior. And no, this doesn't just happen on Jerry Springer or Maury Povich.

I guess my point here is to say that friendship is in fact a pretty important gift to give and to receive. Try not to trivialize or underestimate the power of true friendship. And also, remember that only a small handful of people you meet in life will ever truly meet the standard of being called one.