Abstract Thought of the Day

Friend: But if it bothers you to see that person's face pop up in your friend's list, then why don't you just drop them as a friend?

Me: ... see, you just don't understand Facebook.

House Rant: RE: Dear {Facebook User}

So late last week, I made a rant wherein I pretty much went nuts. And while I titled said rant Dear {Facebook User}, which I thought gave it some degree of ambiguity, I've heard enough feedback from various sources that I feel the need to clarify just who the target of said rant was. Or more specifically, who the target wasn't.

So just for the sake of clarity, if you read said rant, or if by chance you are reading this one, you can be relatively assured that you weren't being referenced. If you're one of a handful of people that have spoken to me about said rant, or any rant I've made recently, or any comments I've made at all, you can be pretty sure that you weren't being referenced.

In fact, odds are pretty good that, in general, you weren't being referenced. Especially since I wasn't singling anyone out. I thought I had been clear about that, but before I start worrying or antagonizing people I had intention of doing that to, I want to be clear. This was never about one specific person, several people, or a group or groups. It was, in fact, a generic style rant targeted at several items and issues that tend to annoy me in life, specifically my electronic one.

I guess you could say that this was more of a "me" thing. See, I have this awful tendency of feeling like I'm intruding in other people's lives. And I know, you're probably thinking, "What? No. You? Who wouldn't want you around? You're great and blah blah blah..." but if you are, then that's your perception. Mine is that most people's lives roll along just fine without me, so why would they particularly want or need me pushing into their happy flow? Mind you, this is a perception issue that I fight with on a regular basis, so I do sometimes put myself out there.

Then of course there is the issue of electronic familiarity. It's very easy to let the electronic age we live in temper our view of others, especially those we've had a link to in the past. It's far too easy to run into someone you haven't seen or spoken to in years and feel like they're still the old familiar friend that you knew way back when. And while that may well be the case, the truth is also that they may have drastically changed since then, for better or worse, and that they may not hold the same memories (fond or otherwise) that you do.

So putting the two items together, you have a timid, somewhat reluctant personality trying to reach out to people they feel like they should be familiar with while not necessarily sure if said familiarity still exists or if said people even want to have them around. It's a personal recipe for disaster if ever there was one.

So you can forgive me, if, instead of playing the old classic game of mail/phone tag that I am prone to, a game that can become depressingly one-sided at times, I instead decided to empower myself. Not necessarily Oprah-level, "You go, girl!" empowerment, but I wanted to make sure that I told myself not to get caught up in that sick, sad web where I wonder if I'm good enough to have someone spare time for. I thought about it, decided I was, and then maybe got just a little too, ahem, "vocal" about my feelings on it.

Rest assured, though, that edge aside, I'm not particularly looking to grind an axe with anyone specific here. If anything, I would hope that in reading it you would feel empowered by my position and take your own self-dependent attitude into your life. Although, if you were to see it and feel a little bad about not keeping in touch with anyone (not just me), then just drop whoever a line and be done with it. Or accept that you really don't want to be part of that person's life, and be done with that, too. But enough of that. I don't want to get all edgy again. That's what started this in the first place...

House Rant: Dear {Facebook User}

(And for once, this is a true rant about something wherein I tend to go off a bit. Be warned that I don't pull punches here, and please, please consider this was more about me than about any specific person in my life. Do not take the sentiment presented here personally. Although, if you can glean some kind of insight from it, more power to you...)

Dear {Facebook User}:

I've been pondering this for a while now. And now that I really think about it, no one has a really good excuse for not keeping in touch with me. Sure, life, blah blah, lost track of etc., etc. Whatever. I spend way too much time and waste way too much brain power trying to generate valid reasons for people not to contact me. You know what? I'm sick of it.

I get it. Your life is full of other stuff, and it is a little tricky getting back into a flow where you can bring people into (or back into) your life. I completely understand. I'm there, too. Which is why I can say this with absolute clarity and sincerity. I don't care what your excuse is.

This is not me blaming you or chastising you or even calling you out (and I know, it seems like that's what I'm doing, but I'm not). This is me clearing a vent in the old pipes of self-regret, and you are, unfortunately, just a little too close to the exhaust. Just close your eyes and straighten your hair up afterwards.

This is less about trying to dig into you as a person (which frankly, I wouldn't do; that would be shortsighted and just a smidge mean) and more about me getting myself out of the funk that is feeling like someone, anyone, or maybe even everyone should want to interact with me. Mind you, I'm not a lonely hermit, living in the shell that is his house who barely sees the light of day. I have activities. I have outings. I have friends and family and all of that stuff, too.

Which is why, again, I can say with a somewhat clear conscience that if you wanted to dig a few minutes out of your day to drop a line or a buzz or a poke or a tweet or a zonk or whatever the trendy thing is to do these days, you could do it. I know it's possible, because many people manage to do it. I manage to do it. And considering how anti-social I can be at times, that's saying a lot.

But I understand. You can't really be everyone's pal, after all. I just got done saying that earlier this week. And while this is a bit heavy handed, it's pretty much the same sentiment.

So know this. I have no problem with occasionally chasing someone down to touch base or whatever, but I will not do it indefinitely. As much as I might like to see you, I will not beg to spend time with you. As much as I like talking to and hearing from you, it will not kill me if that does not occur. And as much as I might like to keep you somewhere in the web that is my life, after a set period of time I will cut you off. I have no choice. I have neither the time, patience, or emotional fortitude necessary to maintain a one-sided relationship of any sort at this point in my life. I'd wager that I never could. And to be perfectly blunt, I'm not sure that I'd ever like to be.

You deserve better than to be pestered by me when you could be spending time on something more relevant to you, and I deserve better than to lower myself to hounding you like some... well, hound dog when I could be spending time on people and things that might appreciate it more.

Sincerely,
Thomas Houston

P.S. Please accept my apologies if, by some odd turn of fate, one of any of a handful of things has occurred that might take precedence over keeping in touch (you or a family member in a coma or something like that). I'd feel like a pretty big ***hole if I tore into you over your priorities and then found out that you really had the weight of the world on your shoulders. Although... talking to a friend can help shoulder burdens. Hey, I'm just saying...

Natural Selection

While I work on putting the finishing touches on the last of my weekend projects (hopefully), and focus on what's next on the agenda, I have a side task that I'm working on. Of course, I've been horribly dragged into the Facebook lately, and one of the apps that I've been goofing around with is one by the name of NetworkedBlogs. Basically, it lets you link your blog to a network available on Facebook. In theory, it can save me a little time and effort if I ever want to link something from here to there (assuming I can get those elusive last few followers I need to get my links properly feeded.

Anywho, one of the things you can do while setting up the profile of your blog is to add a few select posts as sample work. And while I have no doubts I could find some interesting stuff on my own, I figured I'd put it out there. So if there's anything yu've seen or read,r ecently or otherwise, that stands out to you as exceptionally unique, entertaining, or interesting, let me know. But don't stress too much over it. Thanks in advance.

Abstract ThoughtS of the Day (It's a Two-fer)

You know why Facebook is evil? Because eventually you get bored enough to go looking for old friends and classmates, and then once you find them, you have to debate whether you actually wish to touch base with them again. Was it indifference or emotional trauma that caused me to break contact with you. Hmm...

and...

Motion capture is apparently the next big step for gaming systems. Prepare to look like a spaz (or more like one) in the coming years.

Even More HouseKeeping

As of this afternoon, I've officially joined the Facebook. I also managed to reactivate my deviantART account, which I had actually forgotten that I had. Of course, it's not like I had added any art or anything. Anywho, I should be updating both over time, although with deviantART it will probably take a good while before I get around to doing anything concrete.

Abstract Thought of the Day

I know it's just showing a change in the status of my newly formed account, but somehow seeing "Thomas is now single." under my Facebook activities makes me feel like people will think I just broke up with someone.