So late last week, I made a rant wherein I pretty much went nuts. And while I titled said rant Dear {Facebook User}, which I thought gave it some degree of ambiguity, I've heard enough feedback from various sources that I feel the need to clarify just who the target of said rant was. Or more specifically, who the target wasn't.
So just for the sake of clarity, if you read said rant, or if by chance you are reading this one, you can be relatively assured that you weren't being referenced. If you're one of a handful of people that have spoken to me about said rant, or any rant I've made recently, or any comments I've made at all, you can be pretty sure that you weren't being referenced.
In fact, odds are pretty good that, in general, you weren't being referenced. Especially since I wasn't singling anyone out. I thought I had been clear about that, but before I start worrying or antagonizing people I had intention of doing that to, I want to be clear. This was never about one specific person, several people, or a group or groups. It was, in fact, a generic style rant targeted at several items and issues that tend to annoy me in life, specifically my electronic one.
I guess you could say that this was more of a "me" thing. See, I have this awful tendency of feeling like I'm intruding in other people's lives. And I know, you're probably thinking, "What? No. You? Who wouldn't want you around? You're great and blah blah blah..." but if you are, then that's your perception. Mine is that most people's lives roll along just fine without me, so why would they particularly want or need me pushing into their happy flow? Mind you, this is a perception issue that I fight with on a regular basis, so I do sometimes put myself out there.
Then of course there is the issue of electronic familiarity. It's very easy to let the electronic age we live in temper our view of others, especially those we've had a link to in the past. It's far too easy to run into someone you haven't seen or spoken to in years and feel like they're still the old familiar friend that you knew way back when. And while that may well be the case, the truth is also that they may have drastically changed since then, for better or worse, and that they may not hold the same memories (fond or otherwise) that you do.
So putting the two items together, you have a timid, somewhat reluctant personality trying to reach out to people they feel like they should be familiar with while not necessarily sure if said familiarity still exists or if said people even want to have them around. It's a personal recipe for disaster if ever there was one.
So you can forgive me, if, instead of playing the old classic game of mail/phone tag that I am prone to, a game that can become depressingly one-sided at times, I instead decided to empower myself. Not necessarily Oprah-level, "You go, girl!" empowerment, but I wanted to make sure that I told myself not to get caught up in that sick, sad web where I wonder if I'm good enough to have someone spare time for. I thought about it, decided I was, and then maybe got just a little too, ahem, "vocal" about my feelings on it.
Rest assured, though, that edge aside, I'm not particularly looking to grind an axe with anyone specific here. If anything, I would hope that in reading it you would feel empowered by my position and take your own self-dependent attitude into your life. Although, if you were to see it and feel a little bad about not keeping in touch with anyone (not just me), then just drop whoever a line and be done with it. Or accept that you really don't want to be part of that person's life, and be done with that, too. But enough of that. I don't want to get all edgy again. That's what started this in the first place...
No comments:
Post a Comment