"Bloggus Resumus!"

I don't normally talk about my adventures with the Odd Lot Comedy Troupe, but after last night's Harry Potter show, I felt like sharing a small snippet of the insanity that transpired.

Being based on a wizard school, you can imagine that spells flew fast and furiously in last night's show. And of course, not all of them would be Hogwarts approved. Here is a short list of several of the spells cast by me during various points of the show, along with a brief explanation of why said spell was cast:

"Admittus the Truthus!" (as the bad cop half of a wizard interrogation)
"Police Harrassicus!" (when said interrogation went bad)
"Winnus Snackus!" (to the lucky winner of the Odd Lottery, teh brave victim of said interrogation)
"Needus Paternicus!" (I need an adult)! (while being held by Lord V)

Note the list might have been longer, but being cast as Ron for most of the show meant that my wand was repeatedly taken from me for safety reasons. Speaking of which, here's a brief list of incantations that I didn't get to use, along with a brief explanation for why they were never spoken:

"Logicus Prevailus!" (because really, that spell would never work)
"No more cryus, Pantsus Dryis!" (because Ron kept getting his wand taken before he could cast it)
"Arvydas Sabonis!" (not used because I'm likely the only one that remembers a forward from the 1990's Portland Trailblazers)
"Coffee-us Hottus!" (because the bad wizard cop never needed a cup of coffee)
"Ala, Peanut Butter Sandwiches!" (simply because I forgot; and the world is a worse off place because of it)

And note, this is just the stuff that I was responsible for. You can imagine that the rest of the gang got just as crazy at various points in time.

So if you haven't been to a show yet (or just need an excuse to show up), make sure that you find the time to stop by. Next week is our audience participation show, and it goes without saying that the more, the merrier. So Audience Returnicus! Or Checkus UsOutis! Or... you know, I'm just going to stop now.

"...are all that I'm taking with me..."

I've been getting a mad crazy amount of sleep this week. That's not the update, but it's more of an indicator of how much of my life was being taken up by the prep and subsequent performances of Bay Street Theatre's production of Boys Next Door. The wrap-up of the show last week was every bit as bittersweet as I expected (although the cast party this Tuesday was truly epic... who knew Bill Cooper had such an epic Buddy Holly in him?).

"Bittersweet" would be the word of the day for this story. I'm really happy to hear that so many of the people that came out to see the show enjoyed it. I even ran into someone randomly tonight that told me I had done a good job. I wouldn't have expected that (the getting recognized by someone on the street, that is; I'm slowly learning to accept praise as a good and normal thing.).

It reminds me, though, of what so many others have said with regard to the show. Until we actually got feedback from the performances, I don't think that the word I would have attributed to the show would have been "bittersweet." After all, there are plenty of humorous moments to be had with the characters. And while there are quite a few sad or even tragic moments, I'd like to think that they are outweighed by the positives.

And yet, so many people have said how sad parts of the show have made them. Many people, my friend Tina included, have mentioned how they were moved to tears at points. I wouldn't have expected that. I guess somewhere along the way with all the repetition of lines and movement, it was easy to tuck the overall emotional impact of the show into my back pocket. And while I may have joknigly said so at one point in the production, it wasn't my goal to make people cry.

But it's nice to know that so many people were able to be touched by the show. It's really, refreshingly surprising, and a wonderful thing to take away from the end of tough, but fulfilling production.

Still, "bittersweet" is the word of the day. Bittersweet that our success came at the expense of so many tears. Bittersweet that what became such a heartwarming experience could not be shared with more people. Bittersweet that it will likely be a while before I attach myself to a project like this again.

But remember, even in the bittersweet, there is still some "sweet". Perhaps I'll try to take more of that with me as time goes on.

Wrapping Up The Boys Next Door

I find myself going into the final week of performances for Bay Street Theatre's The Boys Next Door, and it has been a phenomenal experience. It's been a silly, stressful, melancholy, funny, crazy ride, and I've loved every minute of it.

When I accept a role in a show, there's always part of me that quietly wonders what I'm getting myself into. I've only been in a few productions since returning to stagework about a year ago. And while I'm fairly confident in my abilities, it's still a little daunting to put my talents to the test.

It's always a strange point in the show's run for me. The desire to finish the final few runs of the show are tempered with the bittersweet realization that soon it will all be over. Part of you wants the show to go on, while the other part of you is quietly planning what, if anything to do with all the extra hours in the week you're about to get back.

But most of all, I find myself really proud of the show that we've put together. I'm usually not one to get all sappy about a show (and I'm still not), but I really find myself wanting to share the experience with others.

(And I'm not just saying that because everyone that's come to the show already absolutely loves it and it's given my confidence a huge boost. Although I'll admit that fact doesn't hurt...)

So if you have a few spare hours this weekend, and happen to find an extra buck or two in your pocket, take the time to check out our last few nights of the show this Friday and Saturday at 8PM. And if you can't make it for whatever reason, try to help get the word out about the show. Your friends and family will thank you for it. I hope.

(What? My confidence can't soar forever.)

Overcoming Obstacles

If you've heard me talk about my larger scale writing projects or even been around when the topic of writing comes up, there's a pretty good chance that you've heard me utter some form of the following words: I hate editing.

But the thing is that I truly do enjoy writing. So why then would something related to the process bother me so much?

I suppose you could say that it's a few things. First of all, editing is an entirely different beast than simply making a draft. Drafts, first drafts in particular, are made with reckless abandon. The process appeals to my track-skipping, bounce-around, scatterbrain, giving it the opportunity to go down avenues that straight-line, focused thinking wouldn't provide. A longstanding practice of mine when making drafts is to write until I get bored, then skip to the next thing that interests me in a given section or chapter. After all, it isn't really a big deal if a scene or two never gets covered.

Of course, the larger issue rears its head when it comes for editing. Those gaping holes in the story have to be addressed one way or another, leading to the obvious question of whether or not the idea was worth writing about in the first place.

And really, part of me wants no part of this process. No matter how flawed I may know my draft might be in reality, there's still the notion that most of it is pretty good work. The thought of having to go back and cut out huge swathes of words simply because they don't fit the greater vision is a tragedy I hate to face.

Likewise is the time taken reflecting on what needs to be added. There are the gaps in story that I may have skimmed over when writing a first draft, but there are also the extra parts. They are the ideas that came after I had already gone through that particular section, or things that crossed my mind as ideas after the fact. They are the characters that didn't seem important until later, or who weren't even concepts until the process hard started. They, too need their fleshing out and work done.

I realize that the work is a necessary evil. I understand that to reach - truly reach - the next level of my work, I have to get over this hurdle and build a solid second draft. And scarier still, most likely a third, possibly a fourth, and so on.

It's a daunting task, but it's one that I want to do. So in this regard, I set a simple goal, and make an honest pledge. I hereby declare that before the end of March (and the beginning of April and the inevitable chaos of Script Frenzy), I will complete a second draft of at least one long term project that I've worked on. It's the very least that I can do. Well, short of nothing. But I've done that for a while, and it doesn't sit well with me.

Let's Try This Again...

Hi. I'm Thomas Houston. You may remember me from such strange endeavors as "House Rules!", this very blog page. And of course, a silly little thing called "Planet Houston Podcast."

Both projects were started for similar but differing reasons. House Rules! was my attempt at expressing myself through writing. At the time, I had fiddled with various writing projects and concepts on other blogs and message boards, but I didn't have one that was just me. Heck, even my initial attempts at blogging had fallen short, as for some reason I was locked out of the page I was trying to create. But after a brief while (and after some "gentle nudging" from my friend, the late Sam Johnson), I started the blog in earnest. And while it never quite became what I envisioned it, it was my baby, and I loved it all the same.

Planet Houston Podcast? I guess you could say that was a need to express myself in a different way. Yes, I'm pretty good at turning a phrase or two when I'm writing, but it's not the same as an an active performance. In a perfect world, I suppose I could have tried to do the whole video thing, but honestly, I knew that would be way more work than I wanted to put into it. And really, I couldn't have done a video podcast in my underwear. (Not that I actually did that at any point, mind you. I'm just saying, sometimes a man likes to have his options.)

But for a number of reasons (some of which I may expound on in more detail someday) both projects fell off the radar. I have tried to get the old blog page back to a more regular posting schedule, but it seems like it wasn't in the cards until recently.

So what changed? Let me tell you what changed. It was something very subtle that occurred over the course of the past few weeks. I started to notice a friend or two on Facebook talking about the blog they were starting up. And yeah, I was a little curious about it, but I put it in the back of my head as something to check out later.

But then, it spread. Seriously. All of a sudden, this huge chunk of people that I know were either starting new blogs or reviving old ones. People... blogging thoughts and ideas... and then putting up links on the internet?

"That's my thing. The thing that I do. ...I feel like I'm gonna explode!" (My apologies to Milhouse for borrowing his angsty retort.)

So once again, we're going to give this wacky crazy blog of thing a go. Goodness knows I've got plenty of random thoughts and ideas to tack on here. I just need to get myself back into the flow of updating on a regular basis. So we'll see how that all works itself out.

... or I'll see you in my next post six months from now. One thing or the other will happen.

5 New Shows That I Am Not Interested In (But Probably Should Be)

With the new Fall TV season right around the corner, there are tons of new shows popping up all over the place. And while the mad TV-phile (is that a real word...?) that I am will no doubt check out dozens of shows this seasons (some of which I’ve already talked about), there are a few that just don’t dazzle me. Don’t get me wrong; some of these shows I fully expect to be good. At the very least, people will ramble about how good they are. But for me, just looking at what’s available on them so far, I’m not impressed.

And so, without further ado, and in particular but not specific order, here are five shows I expect to lose interest in within a few weeks. Assuming I haven’t lost it already...

Honorable Mention

Outsourced (NBC): I don’t know what to tell you. When I first heard the premise for the show, it sounded much less like a comedy and more like a quirky drama series. Hey, it worked for Northern Exposure. I’ll give it points for originality, but this show will either survive on a surprisingly refreshing appeal or fade very quickly into television obscurity.

The List

5) Blue Bloods (CBS): “Hey! You got your cop show in my family drama!” “Hey! You got your family drama in my cop show!” “Hey!” “Hey!” “...heeeeeeey...”

I know point blank that the show will probably be good. You don’t normally get as many big names together on a show as you have with this one only to have it suck. That still doesn’t mean that I want to watch a cop show. Or a family drama. Or even a family cop drama. At least Cop Rock had musical numbers. For all three people that watched Cop Rock...

4) Undercovers (NBC): On its surface, the premise of NBC’s new spy show appears sound. And if J.J. Abrams hadn’t sold me on his ability to spin a good yarn before, his relaunch of the Star Trek franchise certainly would have. (And then there’s those other shows he worked on before, but it’s not like anybody really watched those, right…? Oh…)

But somehow, I just can’t get behind this show like I want to. The premise of a couple that shares (and subsequently has to balance) their married life and their spy life, while interesting, feels too generic for its own good. Granted, it’s got some star power behind it, and It’ll probably be jazzy, thrill-filled, and tons of fun. But it will also probably be the first show on the schedule that I get too busy to check out.

3) Law & Order: Los Angeles (NBC): What? Is there some new rule that says that if a show is really popular, it should not only get a spinoff, but that said spinoff should be based in Los Angeles? Is it just a really cheap way to save on travel expenses? Is LA really that different a place that it warrants its own flavor of L&O?

Still, the California variety of the long-running, Emmy winning drama is prepared to make its entry this fall. But as a longtime fan who has slowly but surely lost interest in keeping up with every variant of the franchise, I’m not sure that a change of venue will be enough to sway my verdict of “wait and see”.

2) Hawaii Five-O (CBS): With regards to this show, there are only two groups of people left in the world. The people who are old enough to remember the original show (and I mean remember as in actually remember plots and characters and the like) will probably find this revamp completely unlike what they saw before. People too young to remember the old show at all may find the show’s premise interesting, but to them it will have nothing to do with the nostalgia factor.

In either case, I expect both groups to do about the same thing: hum a few bars of the theme song, mumble, “Book ‘ em, Danno!” just enough times to make it a short lived internet fad, then promptly forget that this show ever existed. It’s just a theory, though.

1) $H*! Mt Dad Says (CBS): It started as a thoroughly entertaining Twitter feed and has since become a book, and now a television series. Will the net phenomenon about a man and his curmudgeonly witty father stand up as a small screen series?

Probably not. When it’s all said and done, this idea has been done in several... no, a few... sorry... virtually every other sitcom ever made features a cranky dad who mouths off to his kid. It’s a staple of the medium, and hardly something to tout as an original idea. That means that the entire success of the show depends on two things: the ability of net fans to translate into real life fans (which is dicey at best) and the draw power of show star William Shatner (who frankly, I think was the wrong choice for this show).

Let’s face it: Shatner’s only here because they think he’s a draw, and clips I’ve seen of him, while sometimes chuckle-worthy, don’t seem to capture the nature of the actual “Dad” whose quotes were such a welcome diversion from an otherwise dull day. But hey, it is a network sitcom. It’s not like it actually has to be funny or entertaining in order to stay on the air...

So that's that. Without a doubt I'll probably be here again at the end of the year apologizing for doubting at least one of these shows. Then again, I'll probably also be here at the end of the year saying, "I told you so." Such is life. Next time, we cover some of the shows that are returning and maybe even a few that have been around forever (or maybe it just feels that way...)

HouseTV: 5 New Shows That I'm Interested In Checking Out

The Fall TV season is just around the corner, so it's time to list the five new shows in the lineup that I am most interested in checking out. For rules on the what, whys, and hows of this list, feel free to read this. Without further ado, and in particular, but not specific order, here is the list:

Honorable Mention:

The Cape (NBC): One could argue that it is easier now than it was before to put a superhero themed show on the air, but the truth still remains. Despite some success on the small screen, a hero show is hard to pull off, and can be a dicey prospect at best.

So it’s encouraging to see NBC stick with the genre with their new show The Cape. The show follows a police officer and family man who is framed for crimes that he didn’t commit and almost killed. To find justice and to protect his family from retribution, he becomes a costumed crime fighter. Corny, sure. But I’m a sucker for anything that resembles a superhero show, so I’ll at least be curious to check it out. Assuming, of course, that it actually shows up mid-season and doesn’t fall completely off the radar.

The List:

5) Mike and Molly (CBS): I both like and dislike the premise of this new sitcom. On one hand, both of the primaries look like they’ll deliver plenty of laughs as a pair of average (and above average sized) people who fall in love. On the other hand, what does it say about our culture that we have to be bludgeoned with the point that these are “average joe” type people that we can relate to? Please stop acting like you’re tossing us a bone on this one...

4) Outlaw (NBC): I can’t think of a single person that was sitting around saying to themselves, “Boy, I hope Jimmy Smits will come back to television this year...” And yet, this was how NBC decided to market Smits’ new show. It’s shades of Benjamin Bratt in E-Ring, only hopefully someone will actually remember this show in two years.

But despite the folksy, forced feel good that a Supreme Court justice who resigns from the highest judicial level in the land to fight for the little guy is supposed to bring, I still feel like this could be a pretty good show. Because it’s not like there are a ton of procedural dramas based around courtrooms already out ther... oh, yeah...

3) Top Chef: Just Desserts (Bravo): Yes, I promised that this list would be relatively free of reality shows (who should probably have their own list... hey, there’s an idea...). But after catching snippets of Top Chef here and there and following a mini-marathon or two, I know that I usually enjoy the show when I can. So hopefully this new incarnation, based entirely around everyone’s favorite meal course, should produce some truly sweet (pun intended) moments. Now if only it wouldn’t lead to excessive late night dessert munching...

2) No Ordinary Family (ABC): It’s the show I’ve heard described as a “real life Incredibles” by people who probably don’t realize that that film is pretty much an homage to the Fantastic Four. It’s a much better comparison overall, even if it does end up giving the impression that Michael Chiklis is being typecast.

The show centers around Chiklis as the father of a rather ordinary family (at first) that, after suffering a mysterious accident during a plane trip, all discover that they have developed superpowers. And while I’m usually a sucker for any old superhero story, I feel like this show might have enough quirky humor topped with a dash of heart to endear it to any audience. But good luck winning any big numbers in that Tuesday night timeslot…

1) The Event (NBC): By all rights, this is the show that NBC is banking on to create the same kind of buzz that Heroes did when it premiered way back when. But after months of teasing and buildup, can discovering what “the event” really is possibly live up to all of the hype?

Of course it can’t! But with any luck, the storytelling will manage to hold people’s attention long enough for it to build a fan base. But I swear that I will rage profusely if people start to complain about it “not being enough like Lost”. Or anything Lost related for that matter. Seriously, folks, let the show go. It’s over now...

And speaking of over, so is this list. But stay tuned, because when I come back, it's all about the new shows that aren't giving me a buzz. Although oddly with some, I feel like they should be...

HouseTV: Project Fall Preview: Prelude

The new Fall TV season is just around the corner, and as everyone knows, I am an avid TV buff.

(Incidentally, it’s probably the only time the word “buff” can be associated with me, but that’s a whole other story...)

So with that said, it is time yet again for a new set of lists. But it occurs to me, in part because I haven’t done a list in so very long (wow, has it been that long...?), that people may have forgotten the rules for these lists. So I figured I’d spend the first part of this feature explaining just what my philosophy on list-making is (at least the majority of the time...).

My lists are, as it should go without saying, my opinion. They are not intended to be definitive truths. In fact, it’s entirely likely that my own opinion on them would change if I gave it more time. Despite this, I will defend my choices, for better or worse, as being valid.

The lists are made in no particular order, although the top listings are generally better than the lower listings. This is generally because I list things based on my general interest, with the shows with the most detailed write ups ending up at the top. Hence, shows that make it to the top spots of the list are (presumably) the ones I have more interest in (or less, depending on the list).

In short, you should just consider any lists I make to be fun items generated for entertainment or possible discussion. It’s hardly a matter of life or death.

Anywho, here are the lists I’ve been working on, which should come out slowly but surely as the week progresses:


5 New Shows That I Am Interested in Checking Out
5 New Shows That I Am Not Interested In (But Probably Should Be)
5 Returning Shows That I Am Waiting For
5 Reality Shows I Know I’ll End Up Watching (For Better or Worse)

Note that reality TV has its own category mainly to keep a huge pile of reality shows out of the other lists. That doesn’t mean that a few wont’ pop up there, though.

So that’s that. Expect those list to filter out through the next week, presumably before the new season starts and makes them less relevant than they already are...

A Note to Highway Drivers...

The right lane for slower traffic. The left lane is there to allow faster traffic to pass slower traffic.

If you are driving 73 miles per hour when the posted speed limit is 70... you are slower traffic. Stay in the right lane.

If your attempt to pass a vehicle in the left lane takes more than 10-15 seconds, you weren't going fast enough to actually pass them. You are slower traffic. Stay in the right lane.

If you find yourself actually traveling side-by-side with the traffic in the right lane, you had no reason to be in the left lane in the first place, and you're holding up people with places to be. You are slower traffic. Stay in the right lane.

If there is a line of cars trudging along trying to get by in the left lane, and someone (an astute someone who doesn't think he's in a NASCAR race) decides to leave a car length or two between him and the car in front of him, this is not your signal to slide in. Especially when there is nothing but open space behind said vehicle. Stay in the right lane.

If you decide to pull in behind the above astute driver, especially when there is no traffic behind him, remember that there is no traffic behind him, that you can, in fact, wait a few seconds before pulling behind him, and that you will not receive any sort of point bonus for driving up another car's exhaust pipe. You know what to do...

Seriously. I haven't really been on the highway in a few years, but I swear that drivers there have actually gotten worse, which I didn't think was possible. And I didn't even get near the Atlanta area. Yikes...

A Special Message to You Know Who....

Dear jackasses,

No one cares about your spam. No one is fooled by your half-cocked, pointless, and poorly written spam notes with links to more spammy goodness.

But congratulations. Thanks to you, anonymous posting on my blog is now over. Because I've been gone long enough for somebody to think they can just take up permanent spam residence here. They are mistaken.

Daddy is home. And it is time to clean house.

Abstract Thought of the Day

Congratulations, Anonymous A-holes. You have prodded my page just enough to warrant me going to comment moderation. I hate to do it, as it inconveniences me, but then you're inconveniencing me by making me waste time sorting through your lines of crap that have nothing to do with whatever it is I want to talk about.

Thank you, in advance, for giving me one more thing to sort through while trying to get the site back up to speed. Much obliged.

A simple pair of lists...

What I did this year:

• Reconnect with old friends
• Make new friends.
• Say goodbye to some friends far too soon.
• Finally say a few things to certain people that I never thought I would get the chance to say.
• Start my own podcast (for better or worse).
• Keep up my blog, despite some dry spells (for better or worse).
• Continue writing, most notably completing my Script Frenzy and NaNoWrimo goal (mostly for sheer insanity).

What I plan to do next year:

• Continue to learn from the mistakes of my past.
• (As always) try to be a better friend, a better son, a better brother, and a better person in general than last year.
• Try to have more of what resembles a social life, despite sometimes just liking quiet evenings at home.
  
• Finally get around to publishing something.
• (As always) try to have a better year than the last year.

The Companion's Guide to Doctor Who - Part One (Rose Tyler)

(In honor of David Tennant's last days as the tenth Doctor, we look back at the supporting cast that helped make him the man that he was. Needless to say, there are some minor spoilers for already aired episodes.)

A Rose by any other name... etc., etc. Some might recall that when it was announced that Billie Piper would be the first companion, it wasn't exactly met with open arms from longtime fans. In their defense, though, they were probably nervous to begin with. This was, after all, the revival of a classic scifi show, and the much vaunted role of the Doctor's companion was being played by a pop star? Blasphemy!

You see, Rose's adventure actually began with the ninth Doctor, Christopher Eccleston. And while he was his own brand of kooky and quirky, this Doctor had a bit of an edge to him. See, he's the one who came from the aftermath of the Time War and the loss of his people to the Daleks. So naturally, he got a bit... "cranky" at times. He wasn't even really sure that he wanted a companion to begin with, so Rose was both a welcome find and a minor nuisance.

Rose witnesses the Doctor regenerating...


What does this mean for the tenth Doctor, though? Well, right off the bat, he starts with a companion that is actually familiar with him and what he does. On top of that, since Rose helped bring the No. 9 back from the brink, No. 10 is quite appreciative of her and all of her efforts.

Rose helped to set a trend that would continue with the newer companions. While the main purpose of a companion has normally been to provide the audience with an everyman perspective and to give the Doctor a sounding board to explain things to the audience, the newer generation is a much more direct partner to the Doctor. Not necessarily an equal, but certainly a worthy and formidable ally in his adventures in time.

But moreso than all of those other things, Rose was the Doctor's friend in a time that he truly needed one, She helped him get his bearings and really get "groove" back (but not like that, you pervs). Whether you agree with Rose's portrayal being good or useful, the fact remains that she was the first, she was the longest, and she certainly made an impact.

They still like each other... aww...

I'm Back, Baby! I'm Back!

... well, sort of. I've been pretty much gone for the past month and a half. And while the past month was due mostly to not having much time for updates between work and NaNoWriMo, the last half was due to me getting a little lazy. Seriously, I had time for the page before, how could I not now, right? Right?

Okay, so it's going to take me a little time to get back into the swing of things. But don't worry. Before you know it, you'll be ready for me to go on hiatus again... er...

As Time Goes By...

Okay, color me stupid here.

I don't think that a month has gone by when I haven't actually thought to myself in idle passing, "What are you going to do for the one year anniversary of House Rules?" I was probably thinking about it after the first few weeks, the first few months... heck. Two months ago I was trying to figure out if I was going to make a compilation book of some sort.

So it comes as a shock to me as I pondered what I was going to post this month and how to squeeze it in between bouts of mad writing sessions, that I would stumble across fellow blogger Ivan celebrating his six year anniversary (and congrats to you again on making it this far... your site rocks). And as it reminded me of what I should do when I achieve my meager but still impressive goal of one year in, it also reminded me of yet another thing...

That happened two weeks ago.

October 19, 2008. The first post at Casa de House (albeit a repost of a previous post from another page. Still, it was the start of this whole thing, and even if it wasn't, the first post after that would still have been in October. So I missed my 1 year anniversary this year. I'm sorry, baby. Do you forgive me?

Anywho, I'd be a lot more formal about this (and maybe I will later), but the truth is I just don't have the time to spare on it right now. But thanks to the many people, here and there, near and far, gone and yet to come, that have made the creation of my little corner of cyberspace worth the effort by checking it out from time to time.

Once More Into the NaNo...

It's my (pretty much) last chance attempt to talk anyone into getting on board the NaNo train. And because they can tell it much better than I can, here's the penultimate promotional mail from the organizers of NaNoWriMo, including a useful (but probably slightly exaggerated timeline):

Dear National Novel Writing Month Author,

Hi there! NaNoWriMo Program Director Chris Baty here. It's so great to have you writing with us! Before we get rolling, I wanted to send you a quick guide to our upcoming month of literary abandon.

Here's the plan:

Today: If you haven't already, please make a tax-deductible donation to help us pay for National Novel Writing Month and NaNoWriMo's Young Writers Program. NaNoWriMo is a nonprofit, and we've spent nearly half a million dollars getting this swashbuckling adventure ready for 150,000 adults and 35,000 kids and teens around the world. Our goal is to pay off this year's expenses and set aside enough to expand and improve both programs next year. With your help, we'll do it! Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far!

Tomorrow: Make sure you've set your time zone correctly (it's under User Settings). Some word-count features appear and disappear at midnight on November 1 and November 30, so dialing those in now will save you stress later. Join a local region, and find out when and where the first novel-writing get-togethers (called "write-ins") for your city or town will be held.

October 31: Get your first pep talk email. You'll receive about three of these a week; one from NaNo staff and two from our panel of esteemed celebrity pep talkers. Spam filters love to eat pep talks, so if you don't get yours, just drop by the pep talk page (under Fun Stuff) where they'll be posted as soon as they go out. Our first guest pep talker will be Jasper Fforde; he'll be parachuting into your inbox next Wednesday.

November 1: At midnight, local time, start writing your book. You need to log 1,667 words per day to stay on par. The website will be very slow for the first few days of the event, but with patience you can update your soaring word count in that box at the top of our site. Watch your stats graph fill. Send a link to your author profile to your friends so they can follow your progress. Revel in the majesty of your unfolding story. It's November 1! You are an unstoppable novel-writing machine!

November 2: Stop writing. Wonder if you should start over. Keep going. Feel better.

November 8: As the first full week of writing comes to a close, you will be at 11,666 words. This is more fiction than most people write in their lifetimes, and you did it in a week. Go, you! This is also Municipal Liaison Appreciation Day, a raucous international holiday that celebrates NaNoWriMo's volunteer chapter-heads (the folks who organized the write-in you went to last week). Chocolate, flowers, and gifts of expensive electronics are appreciated.

November 13: Nothing really happens on November 13.

November 15: After the second week of writing, you will be at 25,000 words. This is the approximate length of such legendary works of fiction as The Metamorphosis, Of Mice and Men, and Twilight: The Complete Illustrated Movie Companion. You're halfway to winning! Attend a Midway Party in your town.

November 16: The second half of NaNoWriMo dawns. Writerly confidence builds. Your book comes to life, and characters start doing interesting, unexpected things. Nice. Weird.

November 22: After the third full week of writing, you stand at 35,000 words, the NaNoWriMo milestone universally recognized as The Place Where Everything Gets Much Easier. This is also when you fly out to San Francisco and join us for the Night of Writing Dangerously Write-a-thon, where you'll help us set records for group noveling and candy consumption.

November 25: Novel validation and winning begins, and Word-Count Progress Bars turn from blue (under 50K) to green (over 50K) to purple (over 50k and a verified winner!). Check our FAQs for details on uploading your manuscript and winning. A limited number of 2009 Winner T-shirts will appear in the store. These will make you smile, and will feature a squirrel.

November 26: American Wrimos celebrate the true meaning of Thanksgiving by gathering together with friends and family, wolfing down a huge meal as quickly as possible, and then ditching those friends and family to hide in the bathroom with a laptop.

November 30: By midnight, local time, we will all be the proud owners of 50,000-word novels that we barely could have imagined on October 31. Plan to attend your local NaNoWriMo Thank God It's Over Party, where grins will abound, champagne will flow, fives will be highed, and wrists will be iced.

You did it. We all did it.

December 1: Sleep will fall heavily across NaNoLand, as 150,000 writers close the book on a crazy, oversized dream.

December 2: The "I Wrote A Novel, Now What?" page goes up on the NaNoWriMo site, containing some special items for our winners from sponsors CreateSpace and Scrivener, along with advice on revision and next steps from published NaNoWriMo authors.

December 3: Rewrites begin.

It all starts very soon, brave writer! Here's to a great month together!

Chris
NaNoWriMo

Minor (But Important) HouseKeeping

Some may have noticed a few... minor changes to the layout of Casa de House (and also to our sister site Planet Houston!). After railing about how indifferent and/or insensitive I thought Cris Collinsworth was being last weekend over many players, coaches and officials wearing pink trimmed accessories, it occurred to me that I hadn't done anything about it myself.

And while I'm sure I would look just dashing in a pink piece of clothing, I'm much more active (and visible) online. So for the remainder of the month (and possibly some time after it since I started so late) both sites will sport pink layouts in support of breast cancer awareness.

Because frankly, I have a mother and sisters, friends and acquaintances, and many have gone through a scare or two in their lives (several of which they probably never even shared with me). A little color change is the very least I could do.

This Job Is Easy...

A breakdown of the advice given to people with "problems" by "sex experts"

80%: Talk to spouse/lover about this issue.

15%: I wouldn't worry about it unless [name serious medical condition, usually pain or discomfort] is involved.

5%: You should see a doctor about that.

Which means even with my limited experience, I could be a sex expert and still make 4 out of 5 people happy with my answer. Yes. I'm sure that it's that simple. Take that, Anna David.

Random HouseKeeping

Jeez, even the HouseKeeping isn't on schedule. Anyways...

Just to let you know what's up, I've been busy, but not necessarily with things here. Okay, obviously I haven't been spending time here. Mea culpa and junk like that.

First, Planet Houston Podcast is still running strong. Yes, I've gotten a little... zanier, shall we say? But the fact remains that the show's still being produced. I at least have it worked down to the point where the show can be produced in around an hour. So it should stick around for the time being.

Also, I'm still sort of collecting essays and posts together for a compilation. No, I still don't have a timeline for that. No, I haven't worked on my other book like I was supposed to. I've been busy, and I hate to admit that confidence took a brief nosedive for a second or two. But talking someone else up managed to pick me back up, too, so back to work on that, also.

Also, as a testament to just how behind schedule I've been, this update on how far behind I've been has sat around as an unfinished draft for the better part of two weeks. That makes no sense, whatsoever.

But hang in there. We're still doing what we do, even if it takes us a little while to do it.

Abstract Thought of the Day

Friend: But if it bothers you to see that person's face pop up in your friend's list, then why don't you just drop them as a friend?

Me: ... see, you just don't understand Facebook.