Revisionist History: Part 1

Okay, so I'm allegedly still rehashing and editing some of the pilot I wrote earlier this year. It still remains the greatest pilot script I've ever written (ignore the fact that it's the only one I've ever written...), but it needs some serious cleaning to get anywhere close to presentable.

That's not entirely true. I could show you the whole thing right now, really. But I'd just as soon not, since my ego is fragile enough when I share complete works that I think are pretty solid.

So in an effort to make forward progress with revisions, to flesh out details that haven't yet been fleshed out, to present some insight into some of the plot and characters, and simply because I can count it as work on editing if I put it in writing, here is the first of several installments of post-first draft observations made by me on the pilot episode of Frak.

I've reread the entire script, and I already know that there are several plot holes that need feeling. Major filling. Perhaps a cream filling, but more on that some other time. The one thing that going back through it convinced me of was that a critical decision I made early on had to be revisited and revised.

Basically put: Chris needed to be more evil.

To explain, Chris is the lead character Charlie's alter ego. He is literally his alter ego, as they share the same thoughts and even the same body. But one thing I wanted to make sure of is that I didn't necessarily fall into the trap of making their relationship a Jekyll/Hyde one.

Chris should be incorrigible, rude, even have a mean streak, but he shouldn't be evil. In some respects he should be likable, but only as long as it takes him to open his mouth and remind you just why you hate him as a person.

The problem with that, though, is that it leaves Charlie out on a limb. He's the protagonist, but by no means is he the nicest guy on the planet. Which means that when Charlie shows his mean streak, the line between he and Chris starts to blur. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but as I expanded on the story, I started to realize just how much both characters started to ride that "middle of the road" area.

So the solution (or a solution) to that is to make sure that Chris' base personality starts far enough down the pipeline of despicable that it's obvious that he isn't on the same page as Charlie. The danger of Chris becoming a caricature (which he shouldn't be) is my main concern there, but I think it's something I can handle.

And on the plus side, making the move lets me fix one of the plot holes from early on in the script. Because it means that Chris isn't above eliminating a witness that might later cause him problems. Which sets up a whole other scene that I haven't written yet, but that helps establish a few extra character traits for a few other people. So double bonus.

I know, I know. You're all, "We want to know more about the plot!" And you will. But not this time. That comes after I make sure that I know just what the plot is myself. Which is probably the nature of Part 2.